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My father died this morning


Steph

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I just need to say it.

He was at home.  It wasn't expected, but wasn't unexpected.  He was doing well recovering from a blood infection, but then he took a sharp turn for the worse and was on oxygen.  He had dementia but he still recognized my stepmother all the way to the end, and he was still fun to talk to on the phone.  It was always good to hear his voice.  And now ... well ... you know.

Thanks for listening.  

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Never ready to lose a parent.  Lost daddy unexpectedly (aneurysm) more than 30 years ago; lost mamma expectedly about 20 years ago, but still was not prepared for it.

So sorry, Steph..

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Sorry Steph. My Dad died 4 years ago this coming October. I spent time with him on his last day holding his hand, though he was heavily sedated and probably didn't know I was there.. It's hard to loose anyone, but to loose a parent is especially hard. Remember the good days.

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Thank you all again.  It's weird.  All the phone calling to people I haven't spoken to in years.  And I need to be looking for some photos now for the memorial.  Of course my wonderful stepmother is doing practically everything.  I'm just trying to lend some support.

 

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When Mom passed last December I thought I was prepared for it,,,she had gall bladder cancer and was only given months to live after the diagnosis,,,but I found out fast one is never prepared,,,I find myself reaching for the phone to ask her questions every day,,,my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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I called my stepmother today ... the funeral was on Monday and her kids stuck around a few extra days.  I knew everyone would be gone by today.  So I called.  Was worried we wouldn't know what to say, but it was good.  

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I called my stepmother today ... the funeral was on Monday and her kids stuck around a few extra days.  I knew everyone would be gone by today.  So I called.  Was worried we wouldn't know what to say, but it was good.  

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I'm glad that worked out well.
Although at this point in my long career I also think it would have been the
right thing to have done even if it wound up being uncomfortable and/or awkward.
Personally, I likely would have avoided it.  But I'd have also felt bad about it later.
I've gotten to where I feel pretty sure that in most situations the old concept of
regretting not doing something being worse than doing it, even if it turns out badly,
is true more often than not.  ( :
 

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Oh, I couldn't avoid it.  I've been calling her a couple of times a month for a long time now.  Sometimes more often.  I would talk to her for about half an hour and to my dad for a few minutes. Sometimes I would talk to Dad first because it was easier to have a conversation with him when I hadn't used up all my stories on Nancy.  But mostly I would talk to Nancy.  So it would be horrible, horrible, horrible, unthinkable, for me to stop calling her.

But still very strange not to have her ask, "So would you like to talk to your Dad now?"  That was the big gaping hole in the routine that I was afraid would be hanging there.  

But it was okay.  

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