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Crazy Christmas dinner stories


Fire1981

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I’ll start. My Great Grandpa Hansen was a 92 year old bag of bones in overalls. He bet all of the Grandkids he could eat more food then any of us and weigh more then any of us. So…we line up and weigh in in the barn on a some crazy big scale before dinner. Weights are written down and it’s time to eat. He’s fart’n around and is the last one to get a plate of food. We’re all stuffing our faces trying to eat the most food. We’re done and are all stepping on the scale to get weighed. The scale wouldn’t even register that any of us gained a pound. Great Grandpa weighed in at 94 pounds. Steps on the scale and weighs in at 129 pounds. Whaaaat ??? We busted him. He put pipe wrenches in his overalls before he ate. That’s why he was the last one to plate and sit down. Who’s next 🔥

RAR

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She also made her famous breakfast. Cream of oyster soup with the floating crackers. Hash browns. And the kicker was ??? Half a red grapefruit with a little bit of sugar. My 2 cousins and I got our Avon cologne on before breakfast. So there you have it. We're all at the table. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, and my Mom and Dad. And 3 Grandkids all splashed up on cologne. She should have made bacon.🔥 

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OK Fire here is one—
Funny how my birthday presents were always wrapped in Christmas paper.
“Yes Art, this is a birthday present”—lol.
I never minded—just knew better at 3 years old---still do—this was/is the way.
Happy Birthday—to me:wub:.
Marble—On!!
 

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We’d go to my Aunt and Uncle's for dinner the day after Christmas. They had a fire place and when we’d get there there where boot tracks in ash around the Christmas tree and presents for me and my Sister. Whaaaat ? We found out later Uncle Bud stepped in the ashes and walked around. 🔥

RAR

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Nothing unusual happened during our Christmas dinner. Everyone ate well and we laughed a lot. Ruby,Storm,Chunk and Freddie loved their corn on the cob. They stayed in their seats and used their napkins. Ruby knock my glass of water over but that was the only weird thing that happened. Oh wait !!! Freddie laid an egg but kept eating her corn on the cob 🔥

RAR

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What’s it gonna take to get you guys to share one. When I was 28 and I put Santa in a head lock and woke up all my 6-14 year old cousins. Took him outside and let him go. I told them don’t ever stop believing in Santa. They all got a piece of firewood in their stockings and wool socks under the tree. Somehow my Sister got a pony out in the barn. Jimmy got a BB gun and Debbie got knitting needles and yarn. I got 4 pieces of firewood in my stocking and a sweater. So we’re all out in the barn and saddling up the pony named Noodle. Jimmy has his new BB gun on scene and there I am with my new sweater. Saddle up and off they go. I’m standing there with my Grandpa while everyone takes off. He starts showing the bays of hay that Noddle will need to be fed. He reaches in breaks off some leafs of alfalfa and pulls out his model 12 Winchester ! I’m having a Huge Ralphie moment. He said “let’s go hunt pheasants.” He shot 2 with his .410. I missed one but got a rabbit. Jimmy shot Noodle point blank in his ass with his BB gun. My Sister got bucked off and landed face first in snowbank. Jimmy lost his BB gun rights. So I went home with my Grandpa’s shot gun and a BB gun. Jimmy got his BB gun 2 years later under the Christmas tree. Just another Christmas on the farm. Noodle ran away and joined the Carnival 🔥

RAR

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